I owe my parents a lot of money. So, I’ve been trying to save up a portion of my earnings from my various part time jobs. I was hoping to save this money in a separate bank account so that I can give it all to them one day, but what’s pretty fucked up is that I now have to use that money, that I was trying to save for my parents, to fund my own university fees.
I keep having a go at myself silently, reminding me that this would never have happened if I’d just completed university the first (or even the second) time. How many times do I have to screw up before it’s too late?
I know it’s bad to have these negative thoughts but they exist and I’m not really trying to stop them.